


Clowns Don't Curse

by babykpats



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:58:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykpats/pseuds/babykpats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian likes Mickey. A lot.</p><p>But after the trauma and rape that Mickey went through brought about by his father, he made himself believe that he was straight.</p><p>Can Ian change that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title will change once I think of a better one.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I look like a fucking clown.” Mickey kept fidgeting. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to dressing _properly._ He was wearing a stiff navy blue long-sleeved button down with dark skinny jeans and gray sneakers.

“Clowns don’t curse. Shut the fuck up and keep your hands in your pockets.” Mandy snapped.

After Mandy finished high school, Mickey earned enough to haul their asses out of Southside. They were still in Chicago but far enough that they were finally able to live without constantly looking over their shoulders.

Mandy got a degree in interior design while Mickey took some courses in construction and so far, they’ve made a good life for themselves.

They were outside the establishment of a prospective client and Mickey couldn’t help but feel anxious. After all this time, he still has that feeling in his gut that no one would want anything to do with him. Mandy has acclimated fairly well to their new life but Mickey, not so much.

He looked at the tattoo on his knuckles and sighed as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

Mickey and Mandy made their way to the entrance and knocked on the door. The guy who greeted them had blond spiky hair that pointed in every direction possible and blue eyes that looked at them a certain way, like suspicion was his default setting.

“Hi! I’m Mandy.” Mandy held out her hand and the man shook it. “This is my brother, Mickey.” The man held out his hand towards Mickey. Mickey looked down at his hands which were shoved into the pockets of his already-too-tight pants and just nodded at the man in greeting.

“I’m Philip. Lip.” He said, giving Mickey a weird look.

It took all the self-control Mickey had not to sneer back.

“When we spoke on the phone, you said you were interested in our services?” Mandy said a little too loudly, trying to get Lip’s attention.

“Ah yes, yes. Come on in.” Lip held the door open for Mickey and Mandy to walk in.

The place was in bad shape. The tiles on the floor were cracked and had some missing pieces. The paint was peeling off the walls and there wasn’t a distinguishable ceiling, only exposed pipes and ducts under the concrete slab of the roof.

“So, what did you want to do with the place?” Mandy’s voice echoed.

“Well, we were planning on opening a restaurant, nothing too fancy. Give it that hole-in-the-wall feel?” Lip paced around while speaking.

Mandy wrote everything he said down. “Who’s we?”

“My family, but my brother’s the chef, he should be here any minute.”

Mandy started writing on her notebook again and Mickey can’t help but wonder the hell his sister is writing down.

“This place used to be a restaurant before they closed down. I think the kitchen is in the back.” Lip pointed at the door opposite the entrance door.

“Mick?” Mandy looked at her brother expectantly.

Mickey jumped a bit but, taking his cue, made his way back to the kitchen. He removed his hands from his pockets and shook them a bit, to get his circulation going again.

The kitchen was in better shape compared to the rest of the place. Stainless steel counters with rubber flooring. Not too bad. He walked over to the window that opened to the other room and tried to pry it open. It didn’t budge.

Mickey stepped back and shrugged.

He continued walking around the kitchen taking mental notes of the things that needed to be repaired, replaced and completely thrown out. He heard the door open behind him.

“The place ain’t as shitty as I thought, Mands.”

“Thanks, I think.”

Mickey’s head whipped around and, apparently a new reflex he has developed, shoved his hands into his pockets. “Um.”

The man chuckled. He had red short red hair and pale skin with green eyes and a crooked smile. “I’m Ian. Your sister told me to come back here to talk to you about the kitchen.”

“Yeah, uh. Yeah.”

Mickey was annoyed.

This guy had no right barging in and reducing him to a blubbering idiot.

Well, it was his kitchen.

But still.

This guy had no right.

“The kitchen’s still pretty okay, don’t you think?”

Mickey shrugged, which was kind of hard since both his hands were exiled into his pockets.

“You have OCD or something?” He asked while eyeing Mickey’s hands in his pockets.

Mickey jumped.

When had the guy gotten this close to him?

Mickey studied the guy’s face. He looked pretty harmless. Annoying, but harmless.

He sighed and pulled his hands from his pockets and showed the tattoos. “Not a germophobe, just a guy who can kick your ass.”

Ian started laughing.

Mickey was taken aback. Who the fuck laughs at shit like that? Mickey huffed. “Okay chuckles, listen up. The floor has to go. God knows what’s infesting that shit. Counters are good, just some high-pressure washing will do. The exhaust needs to be checked up on and some of the cabinets are still good to go. The pantry is fucking disgusting. The shitty window won’t work and you need to stop fucking laughing before I kick your ass.”

That set Ian off into another wave of laughter.

“Mickey!”

Mickey turned around and saw Mandy and Lip standing in the doorway. Mandy looked pissed, Lip looked angry but then his face softened when he saw his brother laughing.

Mickey shoved his hands back into his pocket, muscles tensed.

Ian’s laughter finally died down and they walked back out into the dining area.

“Sorry about Mickey. He’s a bit... rough.”

Mickey bit his lower lip to keep a ‘fuck you’ from escaping his mouth.

“It’s fine. We’ve seen worse where we’re from.” Ian couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian. This guy seems to know all the buttons to piss Mickey off and he won’t stop fucking pushing them.

Ian grinned at Mickey’s apparent indignation.

~

Ian watched as Mickey and Mandy left, smile still on his face.

Lip sighed. “I’ll try looking online for other people who can actually help us.” Lip started moving towards the exit.

“What? What’s wrong with them?”

Lip turned around and looked at his brother. “Are you fucking kidding me? The guy didn’t even look like he wanted to be here.”

“I like him.”

“You _like_ him?”

Ian sighed and looked at his shoes. “He treats me like a normal human being, Lip. Not like a ticking time bomb that can explode any minute.”

“Ian…”

“Look. If this shit is supposed to be therapeutic, how can it work if everybody treats me like I’m so fucking fragile?”

Lip sighed. “You sure?”

Ian nodded.

“You really trust them? It’s not just cause you want his dick?”

Ian punched his brother lightly. “Fuck off.”

They locked up the place and headed on over to their car.

Lip and Ian and the rest of the Gallaghers have long since left the Southside.

Unsurprisingly, Lip was the one who was able to bring them out.

He earned a lot of money, in a quasi-legal way, and they were able to move further north and into a better community.

Lip and Ian got into the car and made the drive back to their house.

“Hey, how’d it go?” Fiona was puttering around in their living room. Their house isn’t much bigger than the old house they had in Southside but it was good enough.

 “The girl’s alright. The guy’s an asshole.” Lip muttered.

“But you’re hiring them?” Fiona asked.

Lip exasperatedly gestured to Ian.

“I like him. He’s funny.” Ian grinned.

“He was yelling at you and threatening to kick your ass, Ian.”

Fiona gave Ian a look.

Ian sighed. Ever since they found out he was bipolar, they started acting like he was made of glass that can break if handled with roughly.

He went to a psychiatrist regularly and he took his meds as scheduled but apparently that wasn’t enough for his siblings.

~

“… and now, we won’t even have fucking enough to pay rent cause you decided to spontaneously combust in front of the fucking owners!” Mandy was pissed.

Mickey wished he wasn’t the one driving so he can cover his ears. Ever since they got into the car, Mandy has been yelling his ears off.

Mickey has long since learned to just keep his mouth shut and let Mandy talk herself out.

That’s why Mickey kept quiet.

Not because he thought Mandy was right.

It was his strategy.

“You’re such an asshole, you know? Where the fuck are we gonna get the money to pay the fucking rent?!”

“Mandy.”

“Not to mention the fucking heat and fucking water…”

“Mandy.”

“… and the fucking gas-”

“Mandy!!!”

“WHAT??”

“Your fucking phone is ringing.”

Mandy glared at his brother and answered the phone.

“Hello?” “Yes, this is Mandy.” “Yeah, sure. We’ll send it over as soon as possible.” “Alright, thank you so much.” “Bye.”

Mandy hung up crossed her arms over her chest.

“Who was that?”

“Gallaghers.” Mandy mumbled.

Mickey couldn’t help the smug grin appearing on his face. “What did they want?”

“Shut the fuck up and fucking drive the car.”

Mickey started laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

“You are a fucking idiot!” Mickey fumed.

By now, Ian was used to hearing insults from Mickey. They’ve worked through the whole renovation together and Ian’s vocabulary of expletives has considerably grown from hanging around Mickey too much.

He actually found it endearing.

So, he nonchalantly turned to Mickey. “What?”

Mickey inhaled, closed his eyes, exhaled and opened his eyes. “You fucking trapped us in the fucking kitchen you fucking motherfucker.”

Ian took a quick look around.

They were moving the appliances into the kitchen by themselves, to cut the cost of paying the workers. And in theory, all the appliances would have fit perfectly into kitchen had they taken the stuff out of their boxes first.

Which they didn’t.

“How is this my fault?”

“No one told you to block the fucking door with that big ass refrigerator, Firecrotch!”

Ian couldn’t help the smirk appearing on his face. “What did you just call me?”

“Un-fucking-believable.” Mickey looked around trying to find a way out.

“What if we move the fridge over?”

“In what space?!”

Ian sighed. “Can you relax? Lip and Mandy should be back soon, they can help us out.”

Mickey’s breathing became short and labored.

“You okay?”

Mickey mumbled a few choice curses, head turning from left to right in a jittery manner.

Ian walked over to the disgruntled man and held him by the shoulders. “Seriously Mickey, you okay?”

“I’m fucking claustrophobic and this shit is freaking me out.” Mickey started sweating.

“Oh. Shit. Um. Okay. Fuck.”

Mickey continued pacing and started prying open the window that opened to the main dining room. “Fuck!”

Ian sat down and rested his back against the box of the fridge. “We should really fix that.”

“You think?!” Mickey snapped.

“Hey! Don’t get mad at me. Fixing that was your job.”

“Fuck you.”

“Why don’t we start by having you sit down next to me and we’ll work our way towards that.”

Mickey turned to look at Ian, heart still racing. “When will your brother be back?”

“In a while.”

“You sure?”

“Yup!”

Mickey sighed and sat beside Ian, closing his eyes and willing himself to calm down.

“Coppercrotch.”

Mickey turned to Ian. “What the fuck?”

“That’s catchier than Firecrotch, don’t you think?”

Mickey smirked. “I ain’t about to discuss your fucking red carpet.”

“Ha! Red carpet. Good one!” Ian laughed.

Mickey grinned.

Ian suddenly straightened up and started patting his pockets. “You got water?”

“What the hell do you think?”

Ian brought out a couple of pills.

“What the fuck? You’re not getting high while we’re fucking stuck here.”

Ian snickered. “It’s my meds.”

“What the fuck do you need all that for?”

Ian looked at Mickey.

He liked Mickey. A lot. Mickey was really hot and Ian was drawn to him in ways he can’t even explain. So the hesitation he felt was expected. He didn’t want to scare Mickey away by sharing how fucked up he is in the head.

“Um. Mental health issues.” Ian replied vaguely.

Mickey scoffed. “Well, you did just fucking lock us in your kitchen. What kind of meds do they give for that kind of stupid?”

Ian grinned and flipped him off while swallowing his pills dry, one by one. After a while, Ian started shivering uncontrollably.

“Shit, you okay?”

“Yeah. It happens every time. It should go away in a bit.” Ian wrapped his arms around himself waiting for it to subside.

“Are you cold or something?”

Ian shook his head and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

After a few minutes of silence, Ian’s body stopped involuntarily shaking. “Sorry about that.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

Ian sighed. “I’m bipolar.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

 “Just means my moods are erratic. Sometimes I’m really happy going on days with no sleep and sometimes I’m really depressed.”

“Isn’t that how everybody is?”

Ian shook his head. “My mom, she’s bipolar too. She slit her wrists during Thanksgiving when I was younger. She was too depressed and off her meds.”

“Fuck.”

Ian stiffened. He didn’t mean to share that much. He looked over at the troubled look Mickey has on his face and sighed in defeat. He’s done it. He has successfully driven Mickey away.

“Your mom still alive?”

Ian nodded.

“My mom died in our living room with needles sticking out of her. Drug overdose.”

“Shit.”

Mickey scoffed. “What’s fucking depressing is that’s pretty close to how a regular day is in our old neighborhood.”

“Where’s that?”

“Southside.”

“No fucking way.”

“Yup. Pretty shitty neighborhood.”

“I know. I grew up there.”

Mickey turned to look at Ian. “You’re shitting me.”

“Born and raised.”

“Why the fuck haven’t I seen you around?”

Ian shrugged. “Good luck?”

Mickey scoffed. “Fucker.”

Then, they heard the sound of screeching metal and suddenly the window leading out was opened. Lip’s head poked in. “What the hell are you two doing in there?”

Ian’s heart fell. He wanted to stay in their little bubble a little while longer.

“Oh thank fucking God.” Mickey shot up and ran to the window, quickly climbing out.

Ian followed.

“This genius fucking locked us in.” Mickey announced which earned him a punch from Mandy.

Ian noticed something different in Mickey’s voice though. What used to be mean and sharp insults now sounded almost teasing. Ian smiled.

Mickey walked over to the kitchen door and carefully took it out of its hinge. Lip took the door from him and propped it against a wall.

Lip tried pulling the big fridge from the outside but to no avail. “Get back in the kitchen and push the fridge back out.” He told Mickey.

Mickey nervously eyed the little window. He really didn’t want to go back in there, it felt like a fucking coffin.

“I’ll do it.” Ian volunteered, carefully climbing into the window.

Mickey let out a sigh of relief.

~

After they got everything sorted out, Ian got into the car with Lip.

“What’s going on between you and Mickey?” Lip asked.

“What?”

“Ian.”

“There’s nothing going on Lip.”

“Don’t you think I know you?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Lip?”

Lip sighed. “You just have this tendency to… fall for people quickly.”

“You calling me a slut?”

“You slept with your boss when you were 15.”

“I was young and stupid. Stop bringing that up.”

“You slept with the closeted bully who threatened to kill you.”

“Having sex with him was better than getting my face bashed in.”

“You slept with your fucking doctor, Ian!”

“What are you trying to prove Lip? You want me to fucking enumerate every slut you slammed your dick into? Just because I’m gay doesn’t make it more wrong than whatever the hell you’re doing!”

“I know, Ian. But Mickey? Really?”

“I really like him, Lip.”

“That’s what you said about your old boss and that little punk and that doctor.”

“It’s different this time.” Ian mumbled.

“Heard that before.” Lip muttered before driving them home.

~

Ian and Mickey were seated on the steps leading up to the restaurant. They had to stay behind to oversee the workers doing overtime because it was kind of their fault that there was still work left to be done.

It was getting dark and the air was chilly. They were talking about stupid, useless thing when Ian felt something wet hit his arm. “What the hell?”

Mickey saw the stream of water coming from two little boys who were snickering between themselves, thinking they were hidden in the darkness.

Mickey shot off the porch and ran towards the boys who were both frozen in fear.

Mickey held out both his hands. “Give me those you little shits.”

They handed their guns over.

“I’m gonna count to three and if you two dipshits aren’t out of my sight, I’m gonna show you fuckheads what a real gun feels like.”

Not even a second has passed before the two kids disappeared down the street.

“You okay, Firecrotch?”

Ian scoffed. “I’m fine.”

Mickey shot Ian in the leg.

“What the fuck?”

Mickey started laughing and tossed the second gun to Ian before running away to take cover.

Ian fired the squirt gun towards Mickey, smiling in satisfaction when Mickey yelped out when the cold water hit his back.

They chased each other around their empty parking lot, hiding behind dumpsters. Once Mickey’s gun was empty, he raised both his hands in surrender and walked out into the open parking lot.

“I’m all out man.”

Then, he felt sudden wetness right on his butt. He quickly turned around and saw Ian grinning.

“C’mon man. I said I’m all out.”

“Sucks to be you, then.”

Ian lets his muscle memory take over when he aimed at Mickey.

“Left shoulder.”

“Hey!”

“Right shoulder.”

“Stop it!”

“Heart.”

“Fuck!”

“Stomach.”

“QUIT IT!”

“Crotch.”

Mickey was only just able to cover his crotch when the back of his hand was hit.

Ian dropped the gun to his side and started laughing out loud.

Suddenly, Mickey tackled Ian and they suddenly found themselves on the ground with Mickey’s body on top of Ian’s.

“Where the fuck did you learn to aim like that?”

“I was in the army for like, two weeks.” Ian stammered. His brain was going through mental images of Frank, Lip, Lip having sex, Frank having sex, anything at all that will stop his dick from growing hard.

All he could look at now, though, was Mickey’s eyes. It was the clearest shade of blue Ian has ever seen which dark thick lashes framing his eyes perfectly. Ian saw the faint scars that littered Mickey’s face and the soft pink lips that were just begging for Ian’s attention.

Ian raised his head and kissed Mickey’s lips.

Mickey was frozen for a second before scrambling off of Ian with a bewildered look on his face.

“What the fuck, Ian?!”

Ian’s heart was pounding. “I just… I thought…”

“I’m not fucking gay, Gallagher!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be a tiny bit of angst before the sweet sweet reunion. Sorry this took so long but I'll try to plow through this one and finish it sooner. :)
> 
> BTW, I read the term "Coppercrotch" in one of the stories on here. If you came up with that, let me know so I can mention you. I didn't mean to steal it! I just forgot where I read it! :o


	3. Chapter 3

To say that things were awkward was an incredible understatement.

It was a few minutes before opening day and Lip, Mickey, Mandy and Ian were going through the restaurant for a last minute once-over.

Mickey and Mandy weren’t even supposed to be here anymore.

Their job was done.

But, of course, Mandy had to develop a thing with Lip.

A fucking-each-other thing.

So the Milkovich siblings got roped into helping out with the opening.

For fucking free.

Mickey was, unsurprisingly, in a sour mood.

~

Ian’s starting to think there’s something else wrong with his brain.

It wasn’t even cause of the opening.

Ian didn’t even think that many people were gonna show up. But if they did, Ian knew he could handle them. Cooking for a bunch of well-mannered people is easy shit if you compare it to cooking for five very hungry Gallaghers, plus-minus Frank.

What was fucking with him was the fact that Mickey was there.

After the whole oh-shit-Mickey-isn’t-gay ordeal, Ian just wanted Mickey to disappear. It was a mixture of disappointment and embarrassment that made Ian extra-aware of Mickey’s every move just so he can stay ten feet away.

What sucks was that Ian really liked Mickey.

Ian was in the kitchen and he peeked through the tiny window to look at where Mickey was leaning against the counter.

Ian couldn’t hold back his smile.

Mickey looked like an angry little man. It was adorable.

“Alright! We’re opening in a bit.” Lip announced.

Ian sighed and turned back to the two people who were going to be helping him in the kitchen. “Here goes nothing.”

~

“What the fuck, Jake!” Ian felt slightly guilty because despite having one of his staff members almost cut his finger off, all he was worried about was not getting any of his blood on the food.

“SHIT!” Jake dropped the knife and held his wounded hand with his other hand.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Lip poked his head into the kitchen. “Oh fuck! Shit. C’mon man.” Lip helped Jake through the backdoor.

Ian turned to look at Michelle, the only other person left in the kitchen with him.

Then he turned to look at the orders slips lined up.

“Fuck. Go continue whatever the hell Jake was doing before he decided to amputate himself.” Ian was nervous.

The restaurant wasn’t full but there were people, actual people, outside waiting to eat food that Ian prepared.

Ian quickly walked out into the restaurant.

“Mick!”

Mickey turned to look at Ian from where he was sitting on the bar, and raised his eyebrow.

“Help?”

~

Mickey looked at the kicked puppy face Ian was giving him.

He’s been avoiding Ian since that kiss happened and he’s pretty sure Ian’s been avoiding him too. Now, though, Ian was asking for help. Mickey turned to the glass of beer he’s been nursing, as if it will give him the right answer.

“Beer’s on me if you get your butt in here.”

Mickey turned to Ian and returned the grin he received.

He grabbed his glass, downed the rest of his beer and walked into the kitchen.

Ian filled Mickey in on what happened as he threw an apron for Mickey to wear. Ian, then turned to Mickey. “So, can you cook?”

Mickey shrugged. “I still got ten fingers, so I guess I’m the best you got.”

Ian smirked.

~

Mickey just walked out of the bathroom and he was confused to see a bunch of people in the restaurant.

He could’ve sworn they just closed.

But when he saw Lip and Ian laughing and hugging the strangers, it clicked.

This was their family.

Mickey felt awkward and looked for Mandy only to see her plaster herself on Lip’s arm. He couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling.

“Mick!”

Mickey turned to see Ian walking towards him.

“Uh… I guess we should go, huh?”

“Don’t think Mandy’s going anywhere.”

Mickey scoffed.

“Stay for dinner? I owe you, man.”

“Thought that was just the beer?”

“You saying no to free food?”

Mickey lightly punched Ian’s shoulder and followed him towards the extremely long table they made out of several smaller tables.

It seems like things between him and Ian were back to normal. Mickey was surprised at the relief he felt. What was wrong with having a gay friend? Straight guys can have gay friends right?

~

“Food’s fucking good.” Mickey said as he pushed away his plate.

Ian has been receiving compliments all night for his cooking and that was the one he was getting butterflies over.

He was also extremely aware of how people were leaving one by one. Ian almost wanted to yank everyone back into their seats because once enough people have left, then Mickey will feel like he has to leave as well.

That’s the last thing Ian wants.

“Hey Ian! Congratulations!” Fiona leaned over and hugged her brother tightly. “I gotta take the kids home, school night. But great job!” Fiona looked at Mickey. “The place looks great!”

Mickey nodded.

“See you at home, Ian?”

Ian smiled as Fiona turned to walk away.

Ian sighed. “You got a ride home?”

 “Mandy got the keys.”

Ian frowned.

“Fuck! The bitch left without me!”

Ian smiled.

Mickey brought out his phone and quickly dialed Mandy’s number. “Asshole! What the fuck?!” Mickey suddenly hung up his phone with a shiver running down his arms.

“What’s up?”

“Fucker took off with your brother. Answered the phone while they were-“

“Alright! Alright! Got it!” Ian said loudly before he got any mental images stuck in his head.

Mickey snickered.

“Well, I can drive you home?”

“I did tell you I’m straight, right?”

Ian’s heart fell but he did a great job of hiding it. “I wasn’t asking for your hand in marriage, Mickey”

Mickey smirked. “Fine.”

They both made their way out the door and into Ian’s car.

Ian was incredibly nervous. He could feel Mickey’s heat on his arm and he just wants to sit there and not go anywhere. Or maybe drive around the block in circles just to prolong the time they had together.

“You sure you know how to drive, Firecrotch?”

“Shut up!”

Ian drove as Mickey pointed out the direction to their apartment. Once they arrived, Ian parked the car and turned to Mickey.

“Thanks for the help, man.”

“Yeah, sure. I guess I’ll see you around.”

They share a couple minutes of silence before Mickey leaves the car and Ian just watches as he walks into his building, already plotting a way of using Lip and Mandy’s new relationship to see Mickey again.


	4. Chapter 4

Ian checked his reflection one last time on the mirror in his room. Once he was satisfied with how he looked, he headed on downstairs.

He smiled and mingled with family and friends.

It was Lip’s birthday and a lot of people came over to their house to celebrate with them. Ian didn’t know many of the people who were here. Most of them were Lip’s friends from college or work.

But it didn’t matter because the one person Ian was looking for wasn’t here yet so he kept his eyes glued to the door.

Finally, Ian saw Mickey walk through the front door behind Mandy who immediately spotted Lip and walked on over to him.

Mickey hesitated near the door way.

Ian counted to fifteen before walking over to Mickey, just so he wouldn’t seem too weird.

“Hey!”

Ian’s insides twisted when Mickey’s face visibly relaxed when he saw Ian. “Hey man! Didn’t think your brother had this many friends.”

Ian chuckled. “Nah. Half of them are Gallaghers you’ve never heard about.”

Mickey smirked.

“Want something to drink?”

Mickey nodded and Ian led the way to their kitchen. Ian opened the fridge and grabbed a whole box of beer before leading Mickey to the backyard.

They sat on the stairs and Ian handed Mickey a beer.

“What, you ain’t drinking?”

“Can’t drink with my meds.”

“Shit man.”

Ian chuckled. “I’ll live.”

Ian watched as Mickey’s Adam’s apple bobbed with every swallow. He watched the muscles in Mickey’s arms move as he brought the bottle closer to his lips. He watched as Mickey’s lips touch the bottle-

“The fuck are you looking at?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

Ian and Mickey spent most of the night sitting on the stairs with Mickey going through beers like he was dying of thirst and Ian watching Mickey as subtly as he could.

Once Mickey was drunk enough though, Ian couldn’t help but ask.

“Are you sure you’re not gay?”

“You seriously asking me that now?”

“Have you ever tried anything with a guy?”

Mickey shook his head.

“How about with a girl?”

Mickey chuckled. “You fucking serious man?”

“Answer me.”

Mickey tried his best to steady himself as he took a look at Ian to gauge his intentions. But nope, too drunk.

Mickey let out a heavy sigh. “Just once.”

“Once?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

“But… what?”

Mickey let out a vaguely frustrated sound. “Growing up, I never really had time for that shit considering all the fucked up things my dad makes me do.”

“Like what?”

“Deliver drugs, steal some shit, beat up people who pissed my dad off, shit like that.”

“Oh.”

“Never had time for any relationship shit.”

“But that one girl?”

“Hooker. My brothers hired her when I turned 16.”

“Hm.”

Mickey suddenly stood up a little straighter and turned to look at Ian with the most adorable confused look on his face. “Are you trying to get me drunk and then… I don’t know… fucking rape me?”

“Fuck no!” But that did give Ian an idea.

“Good. Cause I think I’m drunk.”

“Don’t you wonder though?”

“Wonder what?”

Ian moved a little bit closer to Mickey. “Don’t you wonder what it feels like to be with someone?”

Mickey froze.

“To feel someone’s heat against your body?”

Mickey cleared his throat.

Ian looked at Mickey. He was definitely too far-gone.

It was definitely one of those now or never moments.

Ian reached over and started palming Mickey’s cock.

Mickey groaned. “What the _fuck._ ”

Ian whispered breathily against Mickey’s ear. “I got you.”

Mickey threw his head back as Ian’s grip got tighter.

“You like that Mickey?”

All Mickey could do was to give a weak nod.

“You want more?”

Ian took a quick look around and decided that he couldn't risk it.

“Maybe we should go to my room.”

Mickey had a confused look on his face when Ian’s hand disappeared from his crotch but he didn’t really have any time to dwell on that because the very next second, Mickey was being herded through the house and up the stairs.

Ian pushed Mickey into his room and made sure to lock the door.

Then he turned to Mickey. Mickey was swaying a bit on his feet but the bulge in his crotch was all the encouragement that Ian needed.

Ian moved closer to kiss Mickey but what he got was Mickey’s finger against his lips.

“No no no nooo…. Gallagher. None of that faggy shit.”

Ian grinned. “No kissing. Got it. Anything else?”

Mickey’s face scrunched up in thought but shook his head once he was satisfied.

Ian gently pushed Mickey onto the bed. He started unbuttoning Mickey’s pants when he saw how dazed Mickey looked.

Ian wished he didn’t look at Mickey’s face.

Mickey was so drunk that Ian could probably do whatever he wants to him and Mickey couldn’t even stop Ian if he wanted to.

Ian’s heart started sinking towards the ground as he buttoned Mickey back up. He grabbed his blanket and wrapped it around Mickey. Afterwards, Ian started walking towards the bathroom door.

“Heyy! Where you goin’ thought we were gonna have sexx?”

Ian sighed. “Tomorrow, when you wake up and you still wanna have sex, gimme a call, alright?”

Mickey huffed. “Fucking tease.”

Ian let out a dry chuckle as he made his way into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, stripped and stepped into the shower to stand under the water.

Ian’s hand moved to his cock, steadily pumping.

Ian thought about how Mickey’s cock felt in his hand. He thought about how Mickey smelled. He thought about Mickey’s arms and how his muscles looked so defined. He started imagining what Mickey looked like under all those clothes.

Ian thought about how Mickey would look like under him as Ian pounded into him.

What Mickey would look like above him, fucking himself on Ian’s cock.

Ian held back a moan as he shot his cum onto the tiled wall.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be longer than I expected. (Don't know if that's a good thing or not.)

Mickey woke up with a very familiar ache in his head, in a very unfamiliar place.

He slowly sat up and saw Ian sleeping on the floor.

He checked himself and sighed in relief when he realized he was still fully-clothed.

But still, what the fuck?!

Mickey swung his legs over the side of the bed and kicked Ian in the side.

“Ow! Shit!”

“What the fuck am I doing in your room Gallagher?!”

“What?”

Mickey kicked him again.

“Stop fucking kicking me!” Ian got up and pushed the makeshift blanket away from his body. “You were drunk! I gave you my bed! Now go back to sleep! It’s fucking 5am!”

Mickey took a moment to digest the information. “Nothing happened?”

“Nothing.” Ian muttered.

Mickey raised his eyebrow. “I was fucking unconscious on your bed and you did nothing.”

“Oh, sorry! Did you want me to rape you? I’ll keep that in mind the next time you get yourself wasted!” Ian frustratedly laid back down and turned his back towards Mickey.

Mickey laid back down as well.

Mandy was the only person he trusted in the whole world. She was the only one who had his back and watched out for him. But last night, Ian could have done anything to Mickey.

But he didn’t.

It felt weird. Mickey was so used to having people take advantage of him but here was Ian actually taking care of him.

Now he had two people he trusted.

~

Mickey woke up a few hours later and saw Ian on the floor still. He checked the clock and saw that it was already 1pm.

Mickey carefully got out of bed and crouched down in front of Ian.

“Gallagher! It’s past noon. Wake up.”

Ian opened his eyes and frowned. He turned to face the opposite direction and pulled the blanket tighter around his body.

Suddenly, a loud knock was coming from the door.

Mickey jumped from the shock but hurriedly opened the door.

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” Lip yelled.

“What the fuck are you yelling at me for?”

“Ian didn’t take his run today.”

“So?”

Lip’s eyes found Ian on the floor and muttered. “Fuck.” Lip slowly made his way towards Ian and gently shook his younger brother. “Ian, hey. Good morning!”

Mickey heard Ian mumble something angrily.

Lip sighed. “Help me get him on the bed.”

Mickey nodded and went for Ian’s feet while Lip took Ian’s upper body. Once Ian was on the bed, Lip pulled Mickey out of the room.

“You sleeping with my brother?”

Mickey was about to say no but he simply couldn’t resist. “You sleeping with my sister?”

Lip let out a dry laugh.

Mickey smirked.

“Look, if this is going to be a thing, then you better write this down. He takes his meds in the morning-”

“Woah woah. What thing?”

“You and Ian.”

“Fuck. I ain’t sleeping with your brother.”

“What were you doing in his room?”

“I got drunk last night and he brought me there.”

Lip nodded.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He didn’t take his meds again.”

“What?”

Mickey could only watch as Lip made his way to Ian’s bathroom.

“He’s out.” Lip emerged back into the room with an empty bottle. “I’ll call Fiona to stay with Ian while I go out and get some more.”

“I can stay.”

“What?”

“I’ll stay with him. You won’t be long right?”

Lip eyed Mickey curiously but nodded and left the room.

~

Ian felt wrong.

He opened his eyes and found himself on his bed.

It still didn’t feel right.

Ian felt his bed dip.

He slowly turned his head and saw Mickey watching him from where he was seated at the edge of the bed.

He could never have Mickey.

Mickey didn’t like Ian.

Ian closed his eyes.

~

Ian woke up again and it was starting to get dark outside.

He made his way downstairs and saw his family having dinner.

“Ian?” Debbie was the first to spot him. “You’re feeling better?”

Ian nodded. He spotted Mandy sitting beside Lip and Ian suddenly remembered. “Where’s Mickey?”

“He got called into a job somewhere.” Mandy answered. “He’ll be here to pick me up in a couple hours though.”

Ian nodded silently.

He was on the meds but he could still feel the depression under all the haze that the various pills provide.

Ian quietly ate his meal and retreated back into his room afterwards.

He was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling when he heard soft knocks on his door. Ian didn’t want to see anybody so he didn’t say anything.

The door slowly opened and Mickey’s head poked in.

“You feeling better, Firecrotch?”

Ian could feel the corners of his mouth lift. “Yeah.”

~

Ian took off his apron and brought Lip’s, Mandy’s and his own food to the table.

“Thanks man.” Lip said when Ian set their food on the table.

Ian settled down and listened to Mandy and Lip continue their conversation.

“And then Mickey just says ‘Fuck you!’ and walks away!” Mandy burst out into laughter.

“Remind me to never piss Mickey off.”

“What happened?” Ian asked, ears perking up at the mention of Mickey.

Ian hasn’t really found a reason for him and Mickey to see each other again so it’s been weeks since he last saw him.

“The skank our client was married to was trying to get into Mickey’s pants.”

Lip had to hold back his laughter when he saw how big Ian’s eyes got.

“What happened?” Ian asked.

“She came into our apartment for a ‘meeting’ and jumps on my dumbass brother who was sitting on the couch.”

Ian’s lunch was long forgotten as he looked straight at Mandy.

“Mickey tried talking to her first but bitch was persistent so he carried her up and dumped her ass on the couch. Woulda been better if her ass landed on the fucking hardwood floor if you asked me.”

Lip scoffed. “Why doesn’t he just, you know, throw it in her to get her of his back?”

Mandy squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “Mick has… intimacy issues.”

“What?” Ian’s eyes grew bigger, if that was possible.

Mandy took a quick look around the restaurant before deciding that the coast was clear. “When he was sixteen, Mickey was raped.”

Lip couldn’t stop the “Fuck.” from leaving his mouth.

“Our other brothers started bringing girls in and out of the house when they were fucking thirteen years old. Mickey didn’t do none of that shit so our dad thought he was gay. Hired a Russian whore to fuck him straight.”

A very visible shiver ran through Ian’s body.

“That’s why we moved here. To get away from all that crap. But now, we lost the fucking client and we have to pick up some jobs to keep our apartment.”

“You find something yet?” Lip asked Mandy.

“Yeah, procurement at some dumb design firm. It’s Mickey I’m worried about though.”

“He can work here if he wants?” Ian offered.

“What!” Lip asked.

“I only have two people in the kitchen with me with that one waitress, Lip.”

“What’s he gonna do here?”

Ian shrugged. “He can help in the kitchen or be a server or security!”

“Ian.” Lip’s voice was stern.

“It’d be a huge help if he worked here though.” Mandy said quietly.

Ian and Mandy locked eyes and gave each other a look. Then, they both turned to Lip.

“Fuck it. Fine. He can work here.”

Ian’s face broke into a huge grin while Mandy brought out her phone to call her brother.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short but it just made sense to end it right there. I'm back so next chapter should be up soon.

Mickey and Ian were sitting on the chairs of the empty restaurant. They just finished taking inventory and were resting before they closed up.

“Mick?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Mickey just looked at Ian.

“Don’t get mad, okay?”

Mickey’s face didn’t change.

“What was it like when you… got raped?”

Mickey visibly froze.

“Don’t get mad!”

“Who the fuck told you that shit?” The way Mickey’s voice was so restrained freaked Ian out more than it should.

“Forget I asked.”

“Fucking Gallagher!” Mickey slammed his fist on the dining table and got up to walk into the kitchen.

Ian quickly followed. “Mickey. I just… I wanna understand you, Mick.”

“Fuck off.”

“C’mon. You can trust me with this.”

Mickey turned to look at Ian.

“I promise.”

Mickey let out an exasperated sigh before lifting himself to sit on one of the stainless steel counters that they prepare the food on.

Ian walked over and sat beside Mickey.

They sat in silence for about ten minutes. Just when Ian was about to give up on his question, Mickey spoke up.

“It made me feel disgusting.” Mickey whispered.

Ian kept quiet, afraid that he might say the wrong thing.

“I just…” Mickey looked at Ian.

Ian knew the look Mickey was giving him. Pretty much everyone who grew up in Southside had that look. It’s when you’re deciding between protecting yourself or letting someone see you without your walls.

Mickey sighed. “She was a whore so it didn’t really hurt physically.”

Ian nodded.

“But I woulda wanted to figure shit out on my own. Cause right now… it feels like…” Mickey took a deep breath. “It feels kinda like no one’s ever gonna wanna be with me unless they get paid to be.”

Ian nodded. “Sometimes, when people look at me, I feel like they just know that something’s wrong with me.”

“Yeah?”

“I feel like it’s written on my forehead.” Ian sighed.

Mickey looked directly at Ian. “And you just feel ashamed of your own skin…”

“Cause no matter how much medicine I take…”

“Or how many years pass since the rape…”

“It’s still there.”

“It’s like it’s already a part of me.”

“Whether we like it or not.”

“Exactly.”

“I get it.”

Mickey simply nodded.

“I really don’t have a chance with you, do I?” Ian chuckled.

Mickey shrugged.

“You’re an awesome guy, Mick. Just kinda sucks you’re not into other awesome guys.” Ian let out a dry chuckle.

Mickey watched as Ian left him alone in the restaurant kitchen.


	7. Chapter 7

Mickey was in a good mood.

He’s been working in the restaurant whenever he didn’t have any construction projects lined up and everything’s been pretty stable.

Plus, the beer he’s been nursing might have also contributed to the happy buzz he had in his system.

The restaurant has been transformed into a makeshift club in celebration of…

Shit, what was it again?

Probably a good review or something.

Mickey’s mind is too clouded to recall. But he’s got a seemingly endless supply of beer tonight and he can’t be bothered to focus on anything else.

He picked up his bottle to drain whatever was left and stood up to get his seventh-ish bottle of the night.

“Mickey!”

Mickey turned his head to see Ian bouncing his way towards him.

“This is so awesome!”

Mickey nodded.

“Thanks, by the way. Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Mickey, for the lack of any decent thing to say, nodded.

It has been over a year since Ian came to terms with Mickey’s sexuality and the awkwardness has long since disappeared giving way to a solid friendship.

Or at least that’s what Mickey likes to think it is.

He doesn’t have many friends.

Or any friends for that matter.

“You good there, Mick?” Ian had an amused smile on his face as he watched Mickey sway ever so slightly.

“Fucking fine.” Mickey muttered.

Ian chuckled and grabbed Mickey’s wrist. “Let’s dance!”

Mickey suddenly found himself being led into a mob of writhing bodies. “What the fuck!”

Ian stopped when they got deep enough into the dancing mob and started moving with the crowd.

Mickey, sober or drunk, doesn’t dance. So he just stood there and successfully looked pissed as fuck.

“C’mon Mick! Lighten up!” Ian grabbed Mickey’s shoulders and tried to move Mickey around in a valiant, but utterly painful, attempt at getting Mickey to dance.

“Fuck off, Firecrotch.” Mickey tried to shake Ian’s hands off but he was too drunk.

Ian just chuckled and continued ‘dancing’ with Mickey.

After a couple of minutes, more people seemed to join in on the dancing and Mickey found himself being pushed closer and closer to Ian.

Ian seemed completely unaware of how close they’ve gotten.

Sober Mickey would have told Ian to back off and would’ve made some lewd joke about Ian wanting his ass or something.

But drunk Mickey kept his mouth shut and simply tried to enjoy something he didn’t get much of. Physical contact.

Usually, it freaked him out when anyone touched him, especially people with certain intentions. This time though, it might’ve been the alcohol or his, hopefully well-placed, trust in Ian that made him completely relax and even enjoy the feeling of a warm body against his own.

Ian’s chest was pressed against his own with his elbows trapped between their body and his hands still on Mickey’s shoulders. One of Ian’s legs was fitted in between Mickey’s legs with his thigh dangerously close to Mickey’s crotch but, thankfully, they have yet to come in contact.

Mickey could feel Ian’s warm breath settle on his skin and it all felt good.

Mickey closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

~

Ian had to smile when he saw how happy Mickey looked. He looked so comfortable in such an odd place for Mickey to be comfortable in.

Ian has long since accepted the fact that Mickey wasn’t into him.

But it didn’t hurt to look, right?

And right now, Mickey looked so damn hot. His cheeks were flushed from the heat and possibly the alcohol. His eyes were shut and his head was tilted back revealing the smooth skin on his neck.

Ian, against his better judgment, leaned closer towards Mickey’s neck and inhaled Mickey’s scent, completely aware of how creepy he was acting.

But fuck, this might be his only chance to ever get to do this

Ian was extra aware of Mickey’s leg in between his and he carefully kept the bulge in his crotch away from Mickey’s thigh.

He didn’t want this to end prematurely and a hard-on rubbing against his straight friend’s thigh is a guaranteed way to drive Mickey away.

But fucking shit, he wanted it.

If he couldn’t have anything else, then he would happily settle for dry humping Mickey’s thigh.

But he held back.

~

The only thing keeping Mickey up at this point was Ian, who was holding him steady. So when someone bumped into the very intoxicated Mickey from behind, his whole body moved further against Ian.

~

Ian moaned.

When Mickey stumbled forward, his thigh bumped roughly into Ian’s very hard cock.

Despite the fact that every cell in Ian’s body wanted to grind against Mickey, he kept still, bracing himself for Mickey’s inevitable freak out.

But nothing happened.

Ian saw that Mickey still had the same dazed look on his face and a lazy smile still on his lips.

Fuck it.

Ian slowly moved against Mickey’s thigh and move closer still against Mickey’s body. He positioned his thigh against Mickey’s cock and started moving slowly.

“Holy shit.” Ian grunted. He felt himself leaking in his pants.

~

Mickey was getting hard.

He was feeling things he’d buried so far down that he completely forgot how good it felt to be aroused.

So fucking good.

His head fell forward and landed with his forehead against Ian’s shoulder and he let out a soft moan.

He heard Ian whisper a soft “Fuck Mick.” into his ear and that’s when he came crashing back into earth.

His head whipped up and his whole body tensed.

~

Shit shit shit.

“Mick. I’m sorry.” Ian said as he watched Mickey throw his hands off his shoulders.

Mickey looked so scared and so mad and it made Ian wince.

He expected Mickey to punch him, or kick him or knee him in the fucking groin but all Mickey did was walk away.

Ian tried to follow and the two found themselves in the kitchen.

~

“Fuck.”

Mickey couldn’t help but pace.

He was drunk and horny and dizzy and it was fucking with his head.

“I’m not gay.”

Ian sighed. “I know Mick.”

“I’m not gay.” Mickey stopped pacing to look at Ian.

“I know.” Ian whispered quietly.

Mickey saw the mixture of sadness and lust in Ian’s eyes and he didn’t like how his body was responding to it.

“FUCK!” Mickey punched the nearest surface to him and left a pretty deep dent on the countertop.

“Mickey stop!” Ian walked over and grabbed Mickey’s wrist before he can hit anything again. “You’re not gay. Friction is friction and it doesn’t matter who or what you’re rubbing off on. You’re not fucking gay if your dick likes getting attention.”

This moment is probably the most confused Mickey has ever been. His brain was split into two parts. One part kept playing the hurtful words his father screamed at him when he thought he was gay.

The other part just wanted to get his dick to come in the soonest possible time.

~

Ian saw the conflict in Mickey’s face.

He knew the right thing to do would be to walk away.

But his dick won over his brain.

He pushed Mickey against the nearest wall and sank to his knees.

“This doesn’t make you gay, Mick. I promise.”

Ian quickly unzipped Mickey’s pants and swallowed Mickey’s cock whole.

~  
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Mickey looked down at the bobbing head in front of him and he felt like he was starting to freak out again. So he closed his eyes and shut off his brain. He was gonna worry about this some other time.

Right now, he didn’t even stop the moans escaping from his mouth.

~

Ian kept sucking on Mickey’s dick while he slowly opened his own pants and started jerking himself off.

One hand was milking his own dick while his other hand fondled Mickey’s balls.

Ian pulled back and hungrily licked at the precum gathering on the tip of Mickey’s cock. He sucked the head back into his mouth and slowly licked his way down to the base of Mickey’s dick.

~

Mickey had no fucking clue what he was supposed to do.

It was fucking sensory overload.

He kept his eyes screwed shut and his hands to himself.

But he couldn’t stop the moans and the grunts from escaping through his lips.

~

Ian was close.

So fucking close.

He let go of himself and focused completely on Mickey. Licking from the base to the shaft to the head and rubbing his tongue against the Mickey’s slit.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Mickey grunted.

Ian swallowed Mickey whole once again and bobbed his head as quickly as he can until he felt warm liquid shoot down his throat.

Ian let go of Mickey’s balls and started roughly tugging on his own cock.

~

Mickey kept his eyes closed.

It was the best fucking orgasm he has ever fucking had.

But he kept his eyes closed.

~

Ian came with a loud moan and spilled onto the rubber floor of the restaurant kitchen.

“Fuck.” Ian whispered.

He sat back to slowly catch his breath and he looked up to Mickey’s face.

His heart broke.

Mickey couldn’t even look at him.

Ian watched as Mickey strained to keep his eyes closed.

Ian felt like fucking garbage.

Ian instantly felt dirty and disgusting and unwanted and it was his own damn fault.

He quickly wiped the tears gathering in his eyes, zipped himself up.

Mickey showed no signs of ever wanting to move so Ian reached up to tuck Mickey back into his pants.

~

Mickey felt Ian’s hands on his softening cock and he flinched.

He heard Ian sniffle. “Sorry.”

~

Ian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

Mickey was tensed up and frozen and Ian felt a huge wave of guilt come over him. He felt like he took advantage of Mickey and it made Ian feel more like trash.

He didn’t know what to do, so he just started walking towards the back door.

“You’re not gay, Mick. I’m sorry I did that. Just… you’re not gay.”

~

Mickey heard how Ian’s voice faltered before he heard the back door closing softly.

Mickey had a whole lot of shit to figure out and he definitely wasn’t looking forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> More chapters to come.
> 
> If you have an idea for a story, hit me up at http://www.ask.fm/babykpats


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